Tera was inspired by Psalm 128 Verse 3: "Your wife will be as a fruitful vine." She researched this commandment with her husband and they found many references to marriage as a vine. They discussed what it means to let your heart wander and the similarities between this commandment and the commandment to have no idols.
via Craigslist's Casual Encounters
THE FOLLOWING ESSAY IS IN RESPONSE TO AN AD PLACED IN THE “CASUAL ENCOUNTERS” SECTION OF CRAIGSLIST. THE TITLE OF THE POST WAS “WANT TO CHEAT? ;)” BUT THE POST ITSELF EXPLAINED THE PROJECT AND OFFERED ANONYMITY TO ANYONE WHO WANTED TO SHARE THEIR EXPERIENCE WITH CHEATING AND ADULTERY. THIS IS ONE OF THE RESPONSES, FROM A MARRIED GENTLEMAN.
First love... first time cheated on. It was heart wrenching. I was very distraught. If I think back, I have cheated on every single girl I have been serious with since then. I am not sure if maybe that is because I was so young when I fell in love, so young to take on the anguish of being cheated on, so green...so I hurt and internalized everything. Maybe this has caused me to not want to be faithful.
I found myself at the age of 33 asking myself... what happened? Do I want to keep up this life where everyone is sneaking around all the time? Do I want to have this thing lingering over my head that maybe one day, a spouse would be coming knocking down my door? I think I just found myself wanting to do things I would be proud of talking about, rather than just conversation fodder at a bar. I felt a sense of possibly becoming that sleezy/creepy 40yrd old, wanting to find my next conquest.
Well, I decided I would not cheat on my next relationship. I wanted to build something from the ground up. I wanted to not have to worry about hiding anything, about saying the wrong woman's name. Simplification of my life I guess is a good way to put it. At least I thought it was a simplification of my life. What I found was a project. I've come to realize who I am, my personality, and what drives me.
My wife was an emotional mess when I met her. Her father passed from cancer, and she never got over it. She had been wronged by so many men, and so she was mentally battered. But she had this glimmer in her eye, and it caught my attention. This got really bad leading up to our wedding. I had to call the police on her a few times, that's how bad it got.
So, obvious question comes to mind, why stay? My answer, something is driving me to stay. Something in me is telling me, this is where I need to be. This is what I am suppose to be doing. Helping this person out. A beautiful person sits inside this Tasmanian Devil that I am about to marry. It sets a baseline to my marriage.
Mind you, I grew up going to Catholic grammar school and Catholic high school and I was an alter boy. But my decision to do the right thing, to live up to that commitment I made to myself, and to my wife is what went through my head. While I justified why I reached out to someone else, I had to make it stop.
If I could run into myself at the age of 22 I would say this to myself. Do what makes you smile. Do what makes you happy. If the person your with doesn't add to the happiness, then don't let them take happiness away from you. Will sleeping with someone else do that for you? Maybe for a fleeting moment, but not for the long haul. So, surround yourself with things you enjoy doing, and that will keep you in a good place.